Guilty
by Super-Hannah-Natural
Summary: Just a short tag to the end of last night's episode, so if you haven't seen it yet… Major Spoilers ahead! Just some aftermath of the events at the end of the episode.


**Guilty**

 **Just a short tag to the end of last night's episode, so if you haven't seen it yet… Major Spoilers ahead! I just hope no matter how mad Dean gets at Sam, I just hope he realises that Sammy just wants to get the mark off him so he can have his big brother back.**

Dean cradled Charlie's head gently as he lifted her limb body from the bathtub, the smell of blood, her blood, hit his senses and made him want to hurl. Sam was still standing at the doorway, white as a ghost and trembling as he tried to keep in his tears, now was not the time to cry, not when their little sister that they had adopted still needed them. Dean didn't make eye contact with him as he carried Charlie out of the bathroom and towards the bed, Sam knew Dean was angry. He knew Dean blamed him for this, and so did Sam, he shouldn't have roped Charlie into this, he shouldn't have abused Charlie's love for his brother like this.

Sam stood staring at the blood-stained bathroom for a second before a sudden urge of desperation over-came him, he had to do something, no anything to fix this. Sam almost laughed at the thought, because that was the story of his life, wasn't it? Since Dean went to hell, Sam had been making mistakes, and only after everything went seriously out of control did he try to fix the messes that he had made, and he had been, for the past few years all he had been doing was struggling desperately to atone for his sins, only to commit another.

Sam turned away from the disgusting sight that was the bathroom, and saw Dean laying Charlie down on the bed. _Dean shouldn't have to deal with this._ Sam thought as he moved forward, wishing he could just comfort Dean right now, but knew that whatever he did probably wouldn't Dean much good. He joined Dean by the bed, who was just standing there, looking down at the girl that was once so full of live and happiness. Sam took in the bloody state of Charlie's form.

"You… You should go get some air… I'll clean this up. The bathroom and I'll sort her out… we should give her a hunter's funeral." Sam's voice was quiet, soft, breaking at the end at the mention of a funeral. He glanced up at Dean when his brother didn't answer him, and saw a lone tear streaking down Dean's face.

"Dean…" Sam started again, only to be cut off.

"No! No, I'm not leaving her with you!" it wasn't the words intended to use, he just didn't want to leave Charlie when she was like this. A sob from his little brother indicated that his words had done some damage, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize, not when Sam had put Charlie in the position to be murdered.

"Dean… I never meant for her to…" Sam managed to get out between sobs, and has stopped by Dean interrupting again, who snapped. Dean grabbed Sam and threw him into the wall, pinning him against it with an arm across Sam's chest. The mark, started to make itself know, throbbing painfully.

"I TOLD YOU THE BOOK WAS DANGEROUS! I TOLD YOU TO BURN IT! AND YET YOU GO BEHIND MY BACK! PUTTING CAS AND CHARLIE IN DANGER!" Dean practically snarled, grabbing Sam's shirt at the shoulders, and slamming him against the wall a few times, and for a moment, Sam wasn't his brother, he was the enemy. He reared back, only to throw himself forward, a right hook coming up and Sam went down, hard. It was only when Dean was looming over a terrified looking Sam, which snapped Dean out of his murderous rage, and stalked across the room before he hurt Sam more, because no matter how angry he was, Sam was still his little brother and he couldn't hurt him… well not much anyway.

He watched as Sam used the wall to pull himself up, staggering slightly because Dean's attack had left him more than a little dazed. Dean noticed with a smidge of guilt that an angry looking mark was already starting to develop around Sam's left eye. Sam eyes meet his for a second before they were ducking down towards the floor, Sam's stance rapidly becoming the one that showed Sam was heart-broken and emotionally devastated.

"I'll go clean up the bathroom." Was whispered across the room, and with one longing look towards the girl on the bed, Sam was gone, closing the bathroom door quietly behind him.

Dean stood silently for a moment, still seething anger but starting to realise that maybe he should have taken into account how Sam was going to beat himself up over this, and maybe he should've kept his anger in check instead of awarding Sam with a physical beat down.

Dean started in on the grim task of cleaning Charlie's body, noting that there was pretty much no noise coming from the bathroom apart from the occasional splash of water and a distinct sobbing noise every now and then. As the minutes past, Dean's heart started to ache as he continued to hear Sam's sensitive emotions getting the better of him in the bathroom, but Dean tried to block the noises out so he focus on his task.

Ten minutes past and Dean suddenly heard footsteps running outside, they were getting louder and louder. Immediately in defence mode, the hunter reached for his gun, training it on the door. He breathed a sigh of relief when Cas appeared in the doorway, the angel's blue eyes finding the body on the bed quickly.

"No." Cas breathed as he took in Charlie's body and what Dean was doing. "How?" His eyes searched Dean's as if they held the answer.

"She was murdered by a damn Frankenstein." Dean stated bluntly. Cas looked confused for a moment trying to work out what Dean had meant, but decided there was more important things to worry about at the moment.

"Do you need assistance?" Cas asked stepping up to the bed, before looking around confused again, "where's Sam?"

"I'm handling it." Dean said abruptly, before continuing "and Sam's in the bathroom." He nodded towards the door. Cas lingered for a moment, before walking towards the bathroom door.

 _Probably going to join Sam so they can continue with their lying and sneaking around club._ Dean thought bitterly, and yeah after thinking it he had to admit that was kind of childish.

"Sam?" He heard Cas' voice and knocking, before a door being opened. A gasp peaked his interest, but then he figured Cas was probably taking in the blood.

"Sam, are you alright?" The concern in Cas' voice made Dean wonder what Sam was doing. Soft mutterings followed Cas' question, which was accompanied with a muffled sob.

"Aw, Sam." This made Dean look up and towards the bathroom, startled slightly when Cas appeared in the doorframe, an anxious look on his face.

"Dean, I think you need to see this." Cas disappeared again, and Dean furrowed his brow in confusion, Cas wasn't stupid, so why did he think that Dean hadn't seen the state of the bathroom. His feet however were already carrying him forward, curiosity driving him towards the damn bathroom. When he got to the door, however, he couldn't help himself from gasping himself.

It wasn't the blood of a loved one, no most of that had been wiped away, that made him gasp, no it was Sam.

Sam was on his knees, his trousers were stained red from where Sam had obviously knelt in the blood, bent over and scrubbing furiously at the stained bath mat with a sponge he had found from somewhere. He was shaking, so hard that his bangs danced along with the tremors. He couldn't see much of Sam's face, the bit he did see however made his stomach flip, the bruise that was already blackening Sam's eye was the first thing he noticed, the tears running down Sam's pale left cheek was the second thing. The last thing, however, was what hurt the most. Sam was mumbled to himself, caught intensely in his task. His bruised eye was glazed over and not really seeing anything. Dean stood dumbfounded as he heard he words pouring out of Sam's mouth in a rush.

"M'sorry, I'm so sorry Charlie. It should have been me not you. I shouldn't have left, should've stayed to protect you. Dean's angry, really angry. But it's okay, I deserved this, you were all right, I shouldn't have lied to Dean, I should have just told him the true. But you got to understand, Dean wouldn't have wanted us to find a cure. He wouldn't have let us risk our lives to save him. But Dean's saved my life, countless times, and it's time I return the favour, because he deserves to live, he deserves everything that's good in this world, because he's the best person I've ever known, and I can't, no won't lose him again, otherwise I… I… I won't want to carry on without him." The rambling continued with more 'I'm sorry's', but other than that it became so frantic that Dean couldn't understand it no more.

Dean didn't notice the tears that were leaking from his eyes as he took in Sam's words, then realisation hit him like a brick wall. Sam was so set on finding a cure, because if not Sam was going to lose him again, and Sam couldn't live without it. This gave Dean a new strength to fight the mark, because if he gave in, then Sam would be lost too, and that's one thing Dean wouldn't be able to bear.

"I don't understand. Sam's not to blame for Charlie, she ran off by herself, she knew that people were still going to after her." Cas piped up from beside him, which stopped Dean from throwing himself down on the floor next to Sam and gathering him in his arms. "Even then it's my fault more than Sam's, I was supposed to watch Charlie." Cas continued, before turning to him "Dean you mustn't blame Sam!" urgency was clear in the angel's voice.

Dean ignored Cas, and knelt down to Sam, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Sammy hey, can you look at me please?" Sam didn't acknowledge him, so Dean decided a more hands on approach was needed. He gently reached down and took the sponge from Sam, speaking softly when Sam clutched the sponge harder in his hand. "It's okay Sammy, you're done okay. It's all done. Give me the sponge Sammy." Sam's grip loosened enough for Dean to remove it, he gently gathered Sam in his arms and lifted him away so Sam was sitting against the wall. Dean joined him and wrapped an arm around his brother's shaking shoulders, Sam had stopped mumbling, but he was now just staring off into space, and Dean couldn't decide if this frightened him more.

"Sammy hey, it's Dean. I need you to snap out of it Sam. I'm right here okay." No response. "It wasn't your fault okay Sam, Charlie made her own choice. I'm sorry Sam, I shouldn't have blamed you!" Sam stiffened before he turned towards Dean. Dean felt like crying at the sight of the developing black eye, how could he have even laid a hand on Sam like this.

"Dean?" Sam whispered out his name, which painfully reminded him of when whispered his name when he had nearly bled himself out to open the Werther box a couple of weeks back. Beautiful hazel eyes filled again with tears, "I'm sorry." Sam choked out, and Dean gathered Sam in a hug.

"It's alright Sam, I'm sorry for hurting you." Dean tucked Sam's head under his chin, suddenly feeling incredibly protective over his little brother.

After a minute or so of the two sitting curled in each other's arms, Sam moved away, staring into Dean's eyes to let him know that he was serious about what he was going to say next.

"Dean, I'm not going to shop trying to find a cure for you, but I'll do it alone. I won't involve anybody each in this." Fear overtook Dean, he didn't want Sam trying to find a cure alone, and he didn't want Sam to end up like Charlie, because Sam wasn't the only one that didn't want to live without his brother.

"No, you're not…" Dean started to protest, but Sam was the one to interrupt this time.

"Dean…"

"No, you're not doing this alone, Sammy, I can't see you get hurt. So if you're hell bent on finding a cure, then I guess I am too!" Dean said stubbornly. Sam was silent for a moment before he spoke again.

"I'm working with Rowena to translate the book." Sam admitted, and Dean couldn't be mad, not when Sam had actually told him the truth about something.

"Okay." Dean said simply.

"Okay? Really? That's it?" Sam was surprised, he had been expecting to get chew out by Dean.

"Yeah okay, I'm trusting you with this Sam."

"Thanks Dean," Sam replied sincerely, and despite the loss that they had just suffered, Sam found it within him to smile at Dean, dimples and all, and Dean reciprocated with a goofy grin.

"No problem, little brother."

Cas would've interrupted, assuring the brothers that he would also still fight at their side, but it didn't seem relevant, not when the brothers only had to look towards each other for reassurance.

 **Finish**

 **Okay, so it turned out longer than I expected. But please ignore any typing errors, this was written in like an hour and as a distraction from revision. I know it seems like I forgot about Charlie half way through, but I hope the brotherly angst is enough to cover that. Please tell me what you think of it.**


End file.
